I'll Fight For You
by JustKissMeSilly
Summary: Lily has been denying both James' advances on her, and her feelings for James, for far too long. Seventh year will bring a fresh start for more than just the two of them, new responsibility, and a hardship neither of them were prepared for. It's a good thing they have each other.


The first day of term, Lily thought, was simultaneously the best and worst day of the whole year. Granted, there was the initial excitement of getting back to school and seeing friends, some of which she had missed, and some… not so much. But on top of that, there was the prospect of a whole year of this to come, of the same faces, the same teachers and the same rules.

The Great Hall was a chaotic scramble of students, teachers and, ever eager to be included, the ghosts. Nearly-Headless-Nick floated up and down the Gryffindor table showing any first years, fresh out of the sorting, exactly why he was known as 'Nearly-Headless'. Lily sighed and looked around. At one end of the table sat the first years, some showing signs that their dinner might not stay down as long as they'd liked if Nick kept up his demonstration. At her end of the table were her fellow seventh years, some proudly sporting prefect badges, and one other, like herself, wearing a badge that declared him head of Gryffindor house.

James Potter.

Lily Evans was unsure of her feelings on Potter. He was an arrogant, cocky, albeit quite good looking pain in the arse. His constant practical jokes with his seemingly joined-at-the-hip best friend, Sirius Black, had made them famous among not only the Gryffindor students, but also among the teachers. It was a surprise to everyone, then, when James had miraculously matured and pulled his head in for his sixth year and been named Head Boy coming into his seventh. She, in contrast, had been a favourite to be picked as Head Girl, and she had been proud to step off the train that morning wearing her badge.

A throat being cleared made her look up from her plate, where she'd been aimlessly pushing around a lump of potato while she thought, and she twisted in her seat to see who it was. James Potter himself was standing before her, hands in pockets, wearing a lopsided grin with his black hair pushed off to one side.

"Have a good holiday?" he said, rocking forward on his toes and raising his eyebrows.

"I did, thank you. And you?" The sentence sounded overly formal even to her own ears, and she berated herself. Potter was making an effort, and it was time to put the past behind them and treat each other like adults.

"Yeah, brilliant. Sirius came to stay." He grinned his cheeky grin at her, and Lily fiddled with her sleeve under the table.

"Can I sit?" Potter gestured to the empty bench next to her, and without waiting for an answer, slid into it. Lily raised her eyebrows slightly but didn't say anything.

James reached across the table and picked up a bread roll and ripped it in half. He shoved one half into his mouth and chewed, and there was silence for a few seconds.

"So uh... we've got our first prefect meeting this Wednesday evening. Harrison's office. You'll be there?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, thanks for the reminder." In reality, Lily had never and probably would never forget a meeting in her life, but Potter smiled and looked pleased with himself, and then made to get up.

"Okay, well, guess I'll see you then," he said, brushing his hands off on his trousers and flicking his eyes over to where Sirius was leaning on a table, flicking crumbs at Remus and cackling with laughter. Lily fought down the desire to roll her eyes.

"Yeah, see you," she replied, and James wandered off. She watched him go, and Sirius looked up as he approached and thumped him on the shoulder, grinning. He looked in Lily's direction and caught her eye, and said something to Potter. He turned to look too, and Lily quickly moved her gaze back down to her plate. Marlene slid onto the bench beside her and she welcomed the distraction, but she could still hear Sirius' raucous laughter from across the room.

* * *

Lily lay awake that night in her dorm, long after lights out, thinking. She'd like to say there was more on her mind than James Potter, but on this occasion, there really wasn't. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had been a constant presence in her life at Hogwarts. Remus, she liked, even considered a good friend. He was clever, quieter than his companions, and a prefect to top it off. She had always thought it a good thing James and Sirius had someone to level out their hot-headed playfulness, otherwise they'd probably have been expelled a long time ago.

It wasn't Remus, or even Peter that Lily was worried about now. Sirius was a slight blip on her radar, for you could never quite relax in the presence of Sirius Black. _He has a bigger influence on James than he realizes,_ she thought. _I just hope James doesn't throw it all away to please Sirius._

It was a known fact that James Potter fancied Lily Evans. Lily wouldn't be surprised if the whole of 7th year knew it. For years Lily had brushed off his advances and ignored his smiles, much to the delight and amusement of her friends. James was handsome, sure, and from the moment he'd returned to Hogwarts for his fifth year, with a deeper voice, longer hair and a swagger in his step that Lily was sure he and Sirius practiced in the mirror on a regular basis, James had been a point of intrigue for many a female student. Lily had continued to brush off his flirtatious comments, nodded politely for every door he'd held open, and been all too aware of his hateful glances at Severus as he trailed her in the hallways.

_Things were different now, _Lily thought. She hadn't felt the same about Severus since she found out about his experiments in dark magic, even when she'd asked him not to countless times. She'd been hurt, hurt at being lied too, hurt at being ignored, and hurt at being left behind when he went off with his new friends. She didn't like these new friends much. They were crass, rude, wore their clothes in a way that was actually untidy, not the carefully adjusted untidiness that James was so fond of sporting. They scared her, if she was honest. She'd overheard them in the library talking over a book of dark spells, and it'd made her shiver. There was a thought in the back of her mind that she tried not to listen to. _Maybe James had been right._

For the past year, Lily's casual dismissal of Potter's actions had been, if she admitted it, mostly for show. Her friends had grown to expect it of her. The one time she'd laughed at one of James' pranks, (the fake beetle hanging off the end of their transfiguration teacher's bookmark that had turned out to be not so fake really was funny, even she could admit that) Marlene had stared at her in shock, and James had almost fallen off his chair. _Not that Marlene could talk, _she would never forget the time she'd walked into the dorm to see Marlene leant up against the bedpost, hair tousled and lips red, and Sirius' Black with his body pushed flush against hers and his hands up a shirt that definitely wasn't his own. On hearing the door open, he'd stepped back calmly, done up Marlene's top button, given her a pat on the head and then sauntered past Lily, who was still standing in the doorway with her mouth open, into the hall. "Afternoon Lily. Shall I give your regards to James?"

Lily sighed and turned over, wrapping the blankets around herself tighter and pulling her knees up to her chest. She liked the 'new' James. He was responsible, earnest, wasn't afraid to show his academic ability (of which Lily was not actually surprised to find he had plenty, when he wasn't throwing pencils at Sirius or copying Remus' notes instead of doing his own.) She smiled to herself, thinking of the time James had accidentally levitated a textbook out a fifth story window, and it had landed on a ledge and stuck there. The professor had not been impressed, and informed him that unless James had it back on his desk before the end of the lesson he'd be getting a detention. James had proceeded to make a great show of opening the window, sighing, stepping out onto the ledge and sitting down on it. Even the professor had looked slightly worried, and then James had turned to the class crowded at the window, grinned, and swung himself off the ledge, catching himself with his fingertips. The whole class had gasped and leant forward to see James hanging off the sill by one hand as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wand, and announced, "Accio broom!"

Nothing had happened.

He tried again. "ACCIO BROOM!"

Still nothing. Even Sirius was starting to look slightly worried. Then, after a moment of realization, James looked mournfully up at them all and said, "When I put it away after Quidditch practice… I locked the shed."

Sirius had started laughing so hard he'd had to leave the room. Remus was trying hard to look stern while placing all the cushioning charms he knew on the ground below. The rest of the class had been torn between laughter, and fearing for debatably the most attractive member of their class' life, and the professor had sighed a heavy sigh, and went to fetch Dumbledore.

James had been given detention and told that if he ever set foot on a window sill again he'd regret it. Then Dumbledore had given him a Sherbet Lemon and a pat on the back, and that had been that.

With that as her final thought for the night, Lily drifted off into sleep, a smile still playing on her lips.

* * *

The next morning, Lily's first class was divination. She'd taken it as a casual subject, one she didn't have to work too hard in. Her class, aside from a few girls at the front of the room, seemed to all have the same idea. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all took this class too, and they occupied four desks at the back of the room, off to the left. When Lily took her seat on the other side of the classroom, she could already hear them full swing into a conversation about magical crimes gone wrong due to misapparition. Sirius was in fits over Remus' tale of a man caught stealing an owl from an owl emporium when he'd left his left ear behind. "'Ere, 'ere!" James cried, to which even Lily had to stifle a smile.

Professor Willowtrot had wandered in, as she did every morning, exactly twelve minutes late. She thumped her books down onto the table, stared into space for a few seconds, and then sprang into action. "Text books out everybody! Quickly! No time to lose! Today we are learning about soul mates!"

Lily head a wolf whistle from the back of the classroom and didn't have to turn around to know it was Sirus. Henrietta, the girl sitting next to Lily, leant over and muttered, "Somehow I doubt a girl's soul is the part Sirius Black is interested in." Lily sniggered and opened her textbook, and hear Sirius drawl, "Hey Moony, fancy taking hold of my rope?"

From what Lily could see at a glance, the page was all about how apparently your soul mate is tied to you with a length of imaginary rope, leaving you free to wander around until eventually, as you weave in and out of life, the rope grows shorter and shorter until at last the two soul mates meet. Lily skim read to the bottom of the page and raised an eyebrow. _Highly unlikely._ After a minute of silence as the class read, a hand shot up at the back of the room. "Miss?"

Professor Willowtrot looked up from her own book, saw her favourite pupil's hand waving in the air, and smiled.

"Yes James?"

"But miss, isn't that a bit inconvenient? I mean, say these ropes are real, wouldn't people be tripping over them all the time?"

"Yes, James, very good point. Think of them more as metaphorical ropes. We cannot see them nor touch them, but we feel their pull, and we know when we've reached the one on the other end of our own line."

James put his hand up again, but didn't wait to be called on. "So, if we could make these lines visible, we'd be able to just, follow them? Like a string? To our soul mate?"

Professor Willowtrot looked thoughtful. "Well, yes. Many people believe that there was once a spell that could reveal these lines, and that a powerful witch or wizard would be able to follow it to their soul mate. To be honest, I rather think that would spoil the fun."

A girl near the front of the room put up her hand. "Professor, do you believe in it? The ropes."

Professor Willowtrot smiled. "I'm not sure. It's not up to me to tell you what to believe, dears. You must decide that all on your own."

"But you believe that everyone has a soul mate?"

Lily almost missed the quick glance Professor Willowtrot gave to the framed photo on her desk, but she didn't, and it made her smile. The Professor took a deep breath and said, "I believe that there is somebody for everyone. Whether you're connected by a string or not, I like to think there **is** somebody out there."

There was a gentle muttering around the classroom as the students contemplated the idea that somewhere out there was someone they were destined to be with. Lily wasn't quite sure if she believed it or not. She was tempted to dismiss it, like she did with most things she learnt in this class, as the mutterings of some demented old hag who had too much time on her hands and someone had handed her a quill. Before she realized what she was doing, however, she'd turned her head to look at the back of the classroom, and was shocked to find James Potter looking right back. He caught her gaze and grinned. Lily twisted back round in her seat fast enough to give herself whiplash, and spent the rest of the lesson staring resolutely down at her text book.

* * *

Wednesday evening arrived, and Lily was apprehensive at best. She was looking forward to starting her head girl duties for real, but she didn't know whether she could trust James to be professional long enough to get the job done. She hoped he would be, but also knew she'd be somewhat disappointed if this meeting went off without a hitch.

She made her way to the office of Professor Harrison, charms teacher and head of Gryffindor House. When she knocked on the door and let herself in, James was already sprawled in a chair in front of the empty desk, feet crossed at the ankles, an expression of great relaxation on his face. Lily sat daintily in the chair next to him and avoided his gaze.

"Evening, Lily," Potter smirked, and Lily bit the inside of her mouth.

"Good evening, James."

"Oh, it is, it really is."

Lily had time to shoot him a suspicious glance and then the door opened behind them, and both Harrison and Dumbledore entered.

"Good evening Miss Evans, Mr Potter," Dumbledore greeted them, and Professor Harrison gave them a tight lipped smile.

Taking a seat behind his heavy mahogany desk, Dumbledore eyed them over his spectacles. Harrison perched on a seat at the side of the desk and folded her hands in her lap. Lily tapped a finger nervously against the chair arm, and Potter made no attempt to improve his posture. Dumbledore reached across the desk and picked up a tin, which he pried open and then held out. "Have a sweet?"

Both Lily and James took one, and Dumbledore smiled warmly. "First I must offer my sincere congratulations." He held the tin out to Harrison, but she shook her head and dusted some imaginary dust off her knees. Dumbledore went on. "I truly believe that you are capable and deserving of these roles, and I trust that you understand fully what honour it is to accept them."

Lily nodded hard, and James sat up properly in his chair.

"And we would like to thank you for the opportunity to prove to you our dedication to this school, Headmaster."

Lily, while slightly annoyed at being spoken for, was slightly impressed at James' eloquent reply. She nodded again. "We'll do our best to do both you and Gryffindor proud."

Dumbledore smiled at her. "I'm sure you will, Lily."

The meeting from then on turned to matters of importance throughout the school; notices that were to be announced in the Great Hall, new prefects that required training, a new tapestry that was being mounted on the south wall of the staircase. Lily listened intently throughout, putting in suggestions, and enjoying the surprise she got every time Potter opened his mouth. _I knew you weren't as dumb as you act,_ she thought smugly.

She tried not to notice that as the meeting went on, Potter's foot crept ever closer to hers on the floor between their chairs. Harrison droned on about "student standards of conduct while visiting Hogsmead" and James shuffled around in his chair so that one leg was outstretched towards Lily's chair, his foot resting no more than a few centimeters from her own. She considered moving it away, but then decided that she wouldn't give in to James' game.

"There is a matter of which I ask you to keep strictly confidential," Dumbledore said leaning forward in his chair and letting his gaze fall calmly on James and Lily, and her stomach gave a lurch.

"You may have heard rumours, and rumours seldom hold the truth, so in order to give you all possible information, I am telling you myself. Professor Harrison and I have decided that you are young adults, and you are capable of handling this information as you see fit. But we ask that you do not alarm the other students just yet."

This did nothing to ease Lily's mind, and when she glanced at James, he had righted his posture and his eyebrows had knitted together in worry.

"We promise, Professor. We can do that."

"Thank you, James. Now, you may have heard that there is a man calling himself Lord Voldemort, who has, admittedly, considerable magic ability, and has gathered some followers."

Lily repressed a shudder. From what she had heard of whispered conversations, this wizard was more of a threat than Dumbledore was making him out to be. _I trust Dumbledore, though, _Lily thought, _so I will worry only when he says there is reason to._

"There is speculation that this Dark Lord will attempt to rise to power, to overthrow the Ministry. There have been deaths, as you most certainly will know. It has been in the papers, after all. The Ministry is reluctant to link these attacks, some on Muggles, to this Lord Voldemort, but I myself know there to be a connection. I suppose, Miss Evans and Mr Potter, the reason I am telling you this is to prepare you for the worst."

The worst? Lily didn't want to think what would happen if this man came to power. It seemed so unlikely, a far off possibility that the grown-ups would worry over and then never come to be.

James spoke, then. "Do you think there will be a war?"

Professor Harrison turned sharply to him. "Where did you hear that?"

James shrugged. "I didn't. I put two and two together."

Peering at him disbelievingly, Harrison let Dumbledore continue.

"I have always believed in honestly, Mr Potter. And I am going to be honest with you now. Yes. I think there will be a war."

Lily was too late to suppress her gasp, and all eyes turned to her. She took a deep breath and tried to look unconcerned, but her heart was doing somersaults. What would happen to her family in the Muggle world? She of course, knew then and there that she would fight. She would fight against this Dark Lord, no matter what her family said.

"We'll fight, Dumbledore," Lily blurted out, and James nodded vigorously in the chair beside her.

Dumbledore met her gaze, and his eyes twinkled. "Thank you, Lily. And that is why I told you both, because I knew you would say that. And that is another reason, although I didn't tell you at the time, that you were chosen as heads of this school. You are strong wizards, and you are loyal. There are dark times ahead. I'm glad to have you on our side."

Harrison coughed and arched her eyebrows. "Professor Dumbledore, with all due respect, there is no certainty that there **will be **a war. I know we must prepare in the unfortunate case that there is, but we cannot jump to conclusions."

"Of course, Professor Harrison, you are right. There is never certainty of anything, and at this stage the only thing we can do is hold this information, and prepare ourselves for the worst. I am most sorry to have dropped this on you," he now said to Lily and James, "and now to ask you to keep it a secret, but I have faith that you will do so."

Lily nodded, and James, wearing an expression of intense determination, leant back in his chair.

Dumbledore stood and nodded at them. "That will be all, thank you. I shall see you again at this time next week."

James held the door for her as they went out, but turned before leaving and said, "Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort, that is, Tom Riddle… he went to Hogwarts, didn't he?"

Dumbledore hesitated, and then replied, "Yes, Mr Potter. He did."

James simply nodded, and then followed Lily out the door.

They walked back to the Gryffindor common room in silence. Both were thinking over what Dumbledore had said. James stopped Lily beside the portrait hole before she could enter the common room, putting a hand on her arm.

"It'll be okay, Lily."

Lily looked up at him in surprise. "I know," she answered, and tried to smile.

James gave her a lopsided one back. "We'll be okay."

* * *

The week dragged from then on, and Lily kept her promise of keeping what Dumbledore had told them to herself. If she was honest, she tried to forget about it, and since it wasn't mentioned again she did not worry over it as much as she thought she might. It was still there in the back of her mind, but the threat was not immediate. She knew she was safe while Dumbledore was in charge, and this brought her comfort. _After all, _she thought, _maybe Harrison's right. There probably won't even be a war._

She and Marlene had gone to the library that afternoon. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter had been hunched over a table at the back of the room, and Lily had edged closer, under the pretense of leafing through a book on concealment charms, to hear what they were saying.

Sirius was talking in an angry whisper. "We'll fight James, we all will. Won't we Moony?"

Remus had nodded earnestly, but Peter had looked a little green.

Sirius looked at him. "Wormtail? You'll fight?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I will. You know I will, if you three are."

Sirius had nodded, and then grinned. "With Dumbledore leading us, this Lord Voldy-man stands no chance."

James had snorted, "Voldemort, Sirius. And I think for now it would be better to call him something less… well, recognizable. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named."

They'd all nodded, and then Marlene had stuck her head round a shelf and beckoned her, and Lily had to pull herself away.

They'd stayed in the library until tea time. The Great Hall held its usual crowded familiarity, and Lily smiled at James as he walked past her to sit down. Sirius and Remus were in tow, and Peter tagged along after them. Lily was probably imagining it, but James seemed to walk a little taller, exude a little more confidence since their talk with Dumbledore. This, she found, was strangely reassuring. She was one of the last to leave dinner, having gotten into a debate with Paul Pickett over a spell they had learnt that day in Charms. Lily had read somewhere that the spell for reheating hot chocolate can also be used to warm your slippers, and Paul was adamant that she was wrong. Lily resolved to look it up.

When she got up and looked around, she realized James was still at the table too. He was leaning on the table and talking to a professor. As Lily said goodbye to Paul and made to leave, she heard her name and turned to see James walking after her.

"Were you waiting for me?" she asked with a grin, and James scoffed.

"No, I was talking to Professor Meristem about her greenhouses."

"If I remember correctly, the last time you willingly showed interest in anything to do with those glasshouses was when Sirius set a whole cage of Cornish Pixies loose in one, and they uprooted all the plants. How many weeks of detention was it again?"

James winced visibly, and changed the subject.

As they came in through the portrait hole there were plenty of students already playing cards, reading or copying notes. Some looked up as they entered together. Some smiled, others looked a little scared. Lily didn't think she'd ever get used to the feeling of being known by name throughout the school, but James seemed to be making the most of it. He made his way across the room, greeting friends and younger students with a smile and a friendly word, leaving a line of charmed students in his wake.

"Ah, the James Potter effect," came a voice beside her, and Lily jumped. Remus was standing beside her, a wry smile on her face. "Happens to the best of us, I'm afraid."

Lily gave a snort of laughter. "I pity the poor souls. So easily sucked in."

Remus gave her a sideways look, smile still on his lips. "Mm, they are rather."

"What are you implying?" Lily asked, turning to face him with hands on hips. Remus raised his eyebrows, the picture of innocence.

"Nothing, I was just agreeing with you," he replied lightly, and Lily dropped it. "So how's it all going? Being head girl?"

Sighing, Lily dropped onto the couch and Remus sat too. "It's alright. Not really as much work as I expected. Dumbledore's been really helpful."

Remus nodded, picking at a thread on the cushion he was sitting on. "Is James head boy material then?"

"Well you should know, you know him better than I do."

Tilting his head to one side, Remus quirked an eyebrow. "Yes, unfortunately I do."

Not quite sure if it was unfortunate that Remus knew James well, or that she didn't know him well enough, Lily just smiled and replied, "I think if he continues like he has been he'll be great. Don't let Sirius lead him astray, will you?"

Remus snorted. "Easier said than done."

They both looked over to where Sirius was leaning on a bookcase, posture relaxed, back against the shelf and hips jutting out. A girl, Lily guessed sixth year, was standing a little too close, pouting and flicking her hair. Sirius seemed to sense someone was staring at him and he looked up and caught Remus' eye over the girl's shoulder. His grin grew a little wider and he winked. Lily turned her head to see Remus smile back and then duck his head, and she smirked.

"The James Potter effect is clearly nothing compared to the Sirius Black effect."

Remus looked back up at her ruefully. "It's a curse, I tell you."

"Thank Merlin I'm immune," Lily giggled.

* * *

The week passed with nothing unusual to note in Lily's opinion, except for a few encounters with Severus. Once in the great hall, when Lily had walked past him talking with his friends, and he'd caught her eye and gave her a thin smile, and again in Potions when he had walked into the store room when she was collecting ingredients. He'd waited in silence until she'd finished before grabbing the bottle and stalking out of the room. Lily had been left confused and a little annoyed. He had no right to be making her feel like this. She had once called him a friend. Did that mean nothing now?

Saturday was the first scheduled Hogsmeade trip of the year, and Lily and James were required to go. They set off with the fifty or so students that had permission, and Lily enjoyed the walk into the sleepy little town, along the cobblestone road that weaved under trees and along fences. The sun was out and the trees were littering the roads with red and orange leaves that were soft underfoot and shone in the sun. James walked beside her in silence, occasionally picking a leaf off a passing hedge and crumbling it in his hand. As they walked into town they passed a flowerbed running along the fence of a little cottage. James stooped and picked a flower, pale with spots of orange along its petals. James looked at it for a second, and then held it out.

"A Tigerlily for Lily. My mum grows these, they're one of the only flowers that are still out in autumn.

Lily tried to hide her surprise. After a second of staring at the flower in James' outstretched hand, she smiled and took it gently by the stem, raising it to her nose. It smelled sweet and fresh, like the summer that had so recently passed, and it tickled the back of Lily's throat. Then James' fingers were around hers on the stem and she instinctively relinquished her hold. James bit his lip and then murmured, "Can I?" before gently tucking the stem behind her ear. Lily tensed, but let him, and he looked at her for a moment before stepping away and giving her a lopsided smile.

"Matches your hair," he said, and then turned to follow after the group. Lily stood for a second, raised a hand to touch the flower, and then walked after him.

She didn't see much of him for the next couple of hours. She took a group of sixth years into Zonko's and she took some of the younger girls into Honeydukes, and then went into The Inkpot to look at books. She was absorbed in one on the history of the Ministry when James stuck his head around a shelf and said, "You coming to the Three Broomsticks? I'll buy you a butterbeer." He smiled his most charming smile, and Lily couldn't say no.

They ended up at a large table at the back of the room, all the Hogwarts students crowded around it on stools or benches, each holding a mug of butterbeer. James had pressed one into her hands and straightened the flower still tucked behind her ear, and taken a seat beside her. She'd felt a little nervous surrounded by so many students all looking her to for leadership and approval, but she answered all their questions and joined in with their conversation, and she would be lying if she said she wasn't comforted by the warm press of James' thigh next to hers on the bench.

Half an hour flew by and when Lily checked her watch and looked out the window, she could tell darkness was on the way. Leaning towards James she said ruefully, "We'd better head back." James looked at his own watch and nodded, standing up.

"Come on you lot, time to go."

There were groans of disappointment, but James and Lily shooed them all towards the door, thanking the waitress on the way out. She smiled at them and told them to come back any time. "Bar's ne'er been so lively."

Lily did a quick head count and after ascertaining that all students were present and correct, they began the walk home. James fell into step with her again and Lily found herself thinking, _I wonder what he'd do if I reached for his hand._ In the twilight, she could almost see herself doing it. But she didn't. James pushed his hands into his pockets, and the fantasy was gone. Lily sighed to herself.

"You okay?" James was looking at her, and Lily realized she'd sighed out loud.

"I'm good. Today was nice," she said truthfully, meeting his gaze.

James laughed. "You sound a bit surprised."

"I didn't expect it to be fun, if I'm honest. I thought it would be more of a chore, and it would closely resemble herding sheep."

"Well I'm glad it didn't," James chuckled, "I think I'd make a hopeless shepherd."

"You don't have siblings, do you?"

"No, just me. I'm pretty sure my parents have unofficially adopted Sirius though. You?"

"An older sister. Petunia. She's a Muggle, like my parents. She doesn't like magic."

James looked thoughtful for a second. "I can't imagine not having magic. If I'd been born a Muggle, I mean. Being a squib would be worse. Knowing magic existed and not having it yourself… I can't imagine anything worse."

Lily thought about her sister, and about the taunts she'd yelled. "Freak! It's not normal, Lily! I'm glad you're going to a school with the other freaks, at least that way nobody will know you're my sister!"

"I don't think my sister likes me very much." It was out before she could stop herself. She hadn't meant to open up to Potter, least of all about her family.

But James just smiled and shook his head. "She's clearly doesn't see what everyone else does, then."

They didn't talk much for the rest of the walk home, but as Lily looked out over fields and hills and open spaces, she realized that she was happy.

* * *

Happiness, when you are feeling it, has a way of seeming like the most permanent thing in the world. And for a while, it is. Lily Evans in her first term back at Hogwarts felt this way, and walking the halls, eating in the Great Hall, going to classes and staying up late in front of the common room fireplace, seemed, to her, the simplest yet most wonderful things she could ask for. She attended regular meetings with Dumbledore, taught the new prefects everything they needed to know, and gained the respect of everyone she worked with in the process.

James Potter was a constant glowing presence in both her school day and her free time. He made the effort to walk with her to class, even if (and Lily found this out later) his next class was on the opposite side of the school. She thought she would miss his practical jokes, but it seemed that James had thought this through, and now worked entirely behind the scenes, letting Sirius be the scapegoat for anything they were caught doing. Lily marveled at the idea that Sirius would take the blame for anyone, but frequently Lily passed him in Harrison's office sitting in front of her desk, hands folded meekly in his lap, only to look up and catch her eye, and wink.

Lily confronted James about it one night, walking back from a meeting.

"Does Sirius mind taking the blame for your pranks?"

James looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on, you know what I mean. I know he's taking the blame so you don't risk losing Head Boy."

Smiling ruefully, James shrugged. "Well to be honest, most of the time it really **is** Sirius. However, there may have been some occasions where Sirius has, shall we say, taken one for the team. Remus can't really afford to be in trouble either. But he's not dumb enough to get caught. Pete will just do whatever I tell him, more fool him, and I guess Sirius enjoys having a reputation as a troublemaker. So really everyone wins."

Lily sighed, trying not to smile. "It really is awful how Peter hangs on your every word."

"Awful? I don't think it's very awful," James grinned, and Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Well, you wouldn't. I suppose as long as you don't take advantage of it, and he's happy…"

"Peter will cling to anyone that gives him power or protection," James reasoned. "He's not stupid, he knows we care about him really. And he's fun to have around. He's not the brightest but he's a laugh."

"I've never really had much to do with him," Lily reasoned, "But he always seems sweet."

James snorted. "Don't let him hear you say that."

Lily laughed and shook her head. Peter wasn't the only one in that group she was beginning to find unexpectedly sweet.

* * *

It was Tuesday morning of the fifth week of term, and Lily found herself stifling a yawn as she sat in Divination. It was the last period before lunch time, and she was hungry, tired, and unsure of how it was possible that it was only Tuesday. She had been so sure it was Friday when she'd lurched out of bed that morning, and on realizing it wasn't, she had not been overjoyed.

Professor Willowtrot had wafted around the room, handing out teacups and a teapots to each table, and on one side of Lily, Henrietta was staring balefully into her teacup. "Is it a fish? It looks like a fish."

Lucinda leaned over the table and looked, and shook her head. "It looks more like a dolphin. But then, if you look at it from where Lily is-" she tilted her head and squinted a little, "-it looks like a boot. You're… going on a journey?"

Henrietta pulled a face. "Not that I know of. Maybe it's referring to Hogsmeade? I'm going on Saturday…"

On the other side of the room a gasp drew everyone's attention. Willowtrot was staring down into one of the cups on James' table, and the four boys were looking at her in alarm.

"Whose cup is this?" Willowtrot picked up a cup and held it out.

The four boys looked at each other.

"Is it mine?" Peter asked nervously.

"Well it could be mine," Remus suggested. "I think I put mine down there…"

"It's not mine," James said decidedly, and then picked up a teacup. "Mine had the thing that looked like a castle. I think it means I'm going to be rich."

"Sirius?" Remus asked, and Sirius looked doubtful.

"I think I put mine on the other side of yours..?"

Willowtrot looked appalled. "You mean you're not sure?"

Remus picked up one of the cups and squinted at it. "Could we not just try it again?"

Willowtrot shook her head. "It's never as accurate the second time round."

"What do the leaves in that cup mean, anyway? Maybe we'll be able to tell whose it is," James suggested, and Willowtrot frowned.

After a dramatic pause, she spoke in a low voice. "Well, my dears, it seems there is a rat amongst you."

There was silence for a second, and then the four burst out laughing.

"Well, I think we know whose cup THAT is!" Sirius gasped, and Peter reached out a hand for the cup.

Giving Peter a wary look, Willowtrot let him take it. Glancing round at each of the still-laughing boys, she shook her head in bewilderment. The rest of the class were as confused as she, and Lily resolved to ask James later.

Lily took the last sip of her own tea and put her teacup down on the table. The tealeaves had arranged themselves into some odd shape, and if she was honest, she wasn't overly excited to find out its meaning. Willowtrot's voice from behind her made her jump and she almost tipped the cup over.

"Now, my dear, gaze into the cup and tell me what you see."

Lily reluctantly did so, and as she squinted into the teacup the only shape that would stand out looked like a lopsided flower. "Um, there's a flower? There, at the top." She lowered her cup and pointed with a finger to the lopsided flower, and the professor smiled a knowing smile.

"One could almost identify it as a lily, don't you think?" Lowering her eyes to Lily, she patted her on the arm and then wandered away.

Henrietta snorted. "Well that meaning isn't hard to interpret. Lily found a lily, gosh, that's a hard one!"

They all laughed, but when the attention had turned back to Henrietta's strange boot-shaped leaf arrangement, Lily reached for the book of meanings. She flipped subtly to the L section and scanned the page for 'Lily'. The general heading stated: good fortune, a realization of love or happiness.

There were many types of Lily sub-headed underneath, and the book helpfully provided pictures beside each; Arum Lily, Belladonna Lily, Harrissi Lily, Water Lily. Squinting at her cup, Lily decided that her wonky arrangement most resembled a Water Lily, if she was forced to choose. Flipping to the W section, she ran a finger down the page and stopped on Water Lily. She read the short explanation and felt herself go visibly pink. It read simply: Water Lily – This flower predicts a declaration of love.

From across the classroom, Willowtrot caught her eye and gave her a knowing smile. Lily looked down at her teacup. Feeling suddenly like the cup in her hand contained some damning evidence she'd rather not have the world see, she picked up the teapot, poured more tea into the cup, and swirled the lily defiantly away.

* * *

Remus, Lily had decided, was an enigma. While she would never admit to staring anywhere in James' general direction, the four boys did sit in the row in front of her in Transfiguration. It was hard to not look in his general direction unless she gazed out the window, an act she often found gained her a reprimand from the professor. So, unable to avoid the boys completely, Lily settled for watching Remus. More specifically, Remus when he was around Sirius.

Lily had noticed long ago the way Remus seemed happy to do the work, and then to let the other three copy off him. James these days would do his own, and Peter, eager to follow James' example to the letter, was doing the same. Sirius was a different story. Remus, sitting neatly at his desk, quill scudding across the parchment as the professor talked, seemed to be well used to the Sirius-shaped cloak that draped over him and his desk. Sirius had no regard for personal space, Lily thought, and she watched as Sirius leant towards Remus to copy an answer, and simultaneously slipped an arm around his shoulders. When he was done he let his arm drop, sliding his hand down Remus' back as he moved away. Remus tensed slightly, not enough to be noticeable to anyone who wasn't paying attention, but Lily was.

It was little things like this that made Lily think back to the day in the common room, when Remus had all but admitted to falling victim to the 'Sirius Black Effect'. Lily was determined to know more.

Her chance came that very Friday night. The first Quidditch game of the season had ended in a triumph for Gryffindor. James and Sirius had played hard, leaving Sirius with a bloody nose thanks to a Slytherin beater, and James bruised but grinning as he leapt off his broom after the Gryffindor seeker emerged from behind a stand, holding the snitch aloft. He'd wrapped Lily in a hug that she would later pass off as a 'jubilance-of-the-moment' type of thing, but she'd been glad of it all the same. Even if James was sweaty and muddy and smelled a little like the pitch he'd just been playing on.

To celebrate in typical Gryffindor style a party was organized in the common room. Music that was slightly too loud, drinks that smelled suspiciously more alcoholic than they should, and students looking slightly pinker than usual were in abundance, and the Fat Lady had been instructed to not let in any teacher without first sending word via the other portraits. Lily had a sneaking suspicion that this was to give them time to hide the punch.

Sirius and James were, of course, the life of the party. Girls pushed to be at their side, boys thumped them on the back, and a new drink was pressed into each boy's hand as soon as he'd finished the one before. James had been sneakily leaving his glass in odd places or spilling it into a potted plant, and Lily was beginning to wonder why he didn't just refuse the drinks. Not that she'd been watching him.

She and Remus had been forlornly sitting side-by-side on one of the couches, nursing a glass of lemonade each and watching the proceedings.

"We could just leave, you know," Remus said quietly. "I mean, if you want to. It doesn't look like you're enjoying yourself."

Glancing sideways at him, Lily raised an eyebrow. "Why, Remus, it does sound awfully like you're propositioning me."

"What! No! I just-" and then he saw Lily's cheeky smile, and grinned. "I think James would skin me alive, anyhow."

"Anyhow?"

Remus looked confused. "Yes?"

Lily put her drink down on the table. "That sentence implied that even if James didn't like me, you still wouldn't."

Looking a little like a deer in the headlights, Remus opened his mouth a couple of times. "I… uh?"

Laughing, Lily jumped to his rescue. "It's okay, Remus. Merlin, you look like a fish, stop opening and closing your mouth. What I'm trying to ask is… well. Sirius?"

Remus did close his mouth, and turned red. He raised his glass, took a large gulp, swallowed, and then looked at Lily.

"Sirius."

Not able to prevent the smile splitting her face, Lily leaned back into the cushions. "Okay," she grinned, and Remus, if it was possible, turned redder.

"I mean, we're not, it's not like that-" Remus garbled, "You can't tell anybody."

"I would never!" Lily protested, and Remus nodded.

"I know."

"So does he..?" Lily pressed.

"What? Merlin, no! That's just… that's just Sirius. That's how he is. You see how he flirts with the girls, it's just a bit of fun for him. He likes the attention. I don't think he even realizes he's doing it."

Glancing over to where Sirius was leaning drunkenly on James, waving his glass around and making some obscene gesture with his hips, Lily sighed.

"Have you talked about it?"

Remus looked appalled. "Talked about it? Did you honestly just ask that?" He laughed a little and Lily smiled. "No, we haven't. And I don't think we're going to. It would make things… weird. I'm not going to ruin our friendship over it."

Lily had to admit that, had she been in his position, she would think the same. Remus stood up then and held out his hand for her now empty glass. "Refill?"

She shook her head. "No thanks. I think I'll go and get some air, check the hallway. Last thing we need is Harrison finding some fifth year passed out on the stairs."

Remus smiled wryly. "Okay. Have fun."

"Oh, tons."

Making her way across the crowded room Lily had to dodge and weave around dancing, flailing students, and the cool air of the hallway outside was a pleasant change. The common room with that many people made her feel a little claustrophobic and she was relieved to be greeted with an empty hallway. She walked quietly to the top of the great staircase and lowered herself to sit on the top step. The huge atrium was silent. She felt as though she could call out and her voice would echo back to her from the walls in every direction. She didn't try it.

Something behind her made a noise though, and she turned, startled. The portrait hole had swung open and someone had stumbled out. When he pushed his hair back from his face and tried to straighten his tie, Lily recognized Sirius. He looked at her and grinned. Lily almost groaned. Just what she wanted to deal with, a drunken Black.

When he spoke, his voice was quiet, but it still filled the open space. "Hey, Evans."

"Hey, Black," she replied, and Sirius loped over and plonked himself down on the step next to her.

Neither spoke for a minute. Sirius was the one to break the silence, speech slurred a little from the punch. "Not enjoyin' the party?"

Lily considered lying, but didn't see the point. Sirius was probably too drunk to remember this tomorrow, so she replied, "No, not overly."

"Too many people throwing themselves at your man?" Sirius joked, and Lily didn't even grace that comment with a reply.

Sirius sighed. "I'm sorry, I know, he's not 'your man.' He'd awfully like to be though, y'know."

Lily turned her head to look at him, and was met with dark eyes that, although a little unfocused, were nothing but honest. "He would, you know," he repeated, and Lily nodded.

"I know."

"Do you think one day..?"

After a short pause, Lily replied. "Yes, Black. I think, one day."

Sirius' face broke into a grin. "I knew it. I'm not gonna tell him, Lils. I won't tell, okay, I'm not gonna. You have to. You gotta do it. James' is gon' be so happy…" He trailed off, still grinning, and Lily found herself grinning back.

"Yeah. We'll see."

They were silent for a minute more, then Lily spoke again.

"How about you, Black? You got your eye on anybody?"

Sirius tipped his head back and closed his eyes. "Migh' do."

"Yeah? I told you, you have to tell me," Lily said, and Sirius chuckled.

"True, Lils, true. But you can' tell neither, y'know. 'Cause I promised I wouldn' tell Prongs," Lily smiled at the nickname, and the way it had fallen off Sirius' tongue before he realized who he was talking to.

"I promise. Cross my heart."

"Remus, y'know? Remus. And s'not fair. He's so pretty, Lils, and 'e's clever, an' pretty, an' he's got nice eyes. But he's such a good boy, he won't fall in love with a Black. Who'd fall in love with a Black, hey? Not me. We're too much trouble. Remus, he doesn' deserve trouble."

Lily, who'd been expecting some smart retort about a big-chested sixth year, felt her heart almost snap. Of course it was Remus. Why would fate let it be anyone else?

Sirius went on. "Nah, Remus would run a mile. And James, he'd 'ave kittens. Poor Pete would pro'ly hide under his bed for a week, and then I'd just have to 'Avada Kedavra' myself and get it over with. Noooope," he drew out the word, leaning back on the heels of his hands and tilting his head towards Lily, "things are fine as they are. And if you don' tell, everything'll stay fine. An' I know you won' tell, Lils. Prongs likes you, and he's generally got pretty good taste."

Lily shook her head, and made up her mind. "Hey, Black, are you drunk enough that you won't remember this in the morning?"

Sirius' eyes widened and he looked at her. "Wha'? Why? Are you gonna kiss me?"

Lily snorted. "No, Black, I'm not going to kiss you. I'm going to tell you something."

Sirius nodded, sitting forward again and blinking at her.

"This is important okay. I swear to you, on my life, on James' life, that I'm telling the truth here. I'm not making fun of you, and I'm doing this because as it turns out, you're not as much of a pillock as I thought you were."

Sirius looked a little confused, but nodded again.

"You need to say that to Remus." Sirius immediately started shaking his head, closing in on himself. Lily put a hand on his arm, begging him silently to listen.

"Sirius, please. Hear me out. Remus likes you. As a friend, yes, and he also likes you like you like him." She could see the cogs turning in Sirius's head as he worked out that last sentence, and when he looked up and met her eyes again, there was something in them that wasn't there before. Hope.

"Remus likes you, Sirius Black. He told me himself, I swear on my life. You need to tell him this. Tomorrow morning, when you're sober, you're going to go to him and tell him. Do you think you can do that?"

"Tomorrow morning? Tell… Remus?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Yes, Black. Do you think you can do that?"

"I… yeah. I think I can do that. But what if he says no, I don' think I can do this if he says no-"

"He's not going to say no." Lily hoped to Merlin she was right, but something deep down was telling her she was.

Sirius was still gazing at her, looking about five years old, and scared. "Evans, you wouldn' lie to me, would you?"

"No," Lily replied, and Sirius nodded. Then he fell forward onto her and wrapped his arms around her neck, and when she heard him snuffling she realized that Sirius Black was literally crying on her shoulder. _Oh how life surprises you,_ she thought, and patted Sirius on the back until he calmed down.

"Okay, you're drunk, you're tired, your nose is quite probably still broken-"

"-s'not, I saw the nurse," Sirius snuffled.

"Well okay, but I bet it still hurts a bit." Sirius nodded, and Lily went on, "Okay, so it's time for you to go to bed." Sirius nodded again. Lily reached out to take his arm. "Are you going to let me take you back into the common room so James can take you to bed?"

Sirius nodded again, and then, almost too quietly for Lily to hear, added, "I'd much rather it was Remus taking me to bed." Lily gave a snort of laughter and stood up, and Sirius followed her. Still holding his arm, Lily led him back to the portrait hole, gave the Fat Lady the password, and wished her goodnight as they went in. The room was still thumping with music, and Lily only had to look for the crowd of girls to find James.

"Stay here, okay? I'll get James." She left Sirius leaning on the wall and pushed her way through the crowd. She laid a hand on James' shoulder, and he turned. His whole face lit up and he opened his mouth, but Lily cut in. "Sirius needs you to take him upstairs, he's not feeling so good and I think he's too drunk to make it himself."

James' face turned from happiness to concern in a millisecond, and he looked frantically around. "Is he okay? What's wrong?"

"No, no he's fine! He's just a bit… shall we say, emotional. I thought you were probably best equipped to deal with him right now."

"Yeah… yeah of course. Thanks, Lily." He smiled at her and started to make his way through the masses, which parted easily for him as we walked. He located Sirius by the door and ducked his head to talk to him, and Lily watched Sirius nod tiredly and lean into James as he put a hand on his shoulder. They skirted around the edge of the common room and left through the door to the dormitories, and Lily sighed. She looked around, and, seeing nobody she was overly eager to talk to, decided it was time for her to go to bed, too. The crowd, she was slightly bitter to note, did not move out of her way when she walked, so she shouldered her way through and eventually made it to the door. Bed would certainly be a welcome relief tonight.

* * *

The next day, Lily walked downstairs expecting to find the common room in a complete mess. It was, however, spotlessly clean, and Lily felt sorry for the house elves. They'd probably been up all night. At the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall there was much less noise than usual, and there were more than a couple of students who winced whenever a spoon was dropped onto a plate, or someone called loudly across the echo-y room. If the teachers noticed, they didn't comment. Lily had a sneaking suspicion that many of them operated under a don't-ask-don't-care philosophy, and right now she was glad.

She took a seat next to Marlene and reached for a piece of toast. Seeing that Henrietta was already using the butter, Lily took the opportunity to look over at Sirius, sitting with the others across from her further down the table. He had dark circles under his eyes and his nose and right eye were starting to bruise nicely, but as Lily watched, she noticed something new. She saw him lean a little to his left, into Remus who was sharing the bench, and whisper something in his ear. Remus smiled and bit back a laugh and Sirius looked proud of himself. Remus raised his eyes to meet Sirius' gaze, and they smiled at each other for a second before James dropped a fork and made everyone jump. Lily shook her head a little, and Sirius saw her looking and smiled, and then gave her a nod that Lily recognized as a 'thank you.' She smiled, and nodded back.

The second Hogsmeade trip of the term was that afternoon, and this time Lily's friends were going too. She was glad of the company, but also a little disappointed that she wouldn't get to spend time with James. James, it seemed, was disappointed by this as well, for when they set off from the front of the castle he shot her a longing look and then went to walk with Peter. The weather was starting to get colder, and the frost had obviously been too harsh for the lilies in the garden James had picked one from the previous weekend. They had all stopped blooming, leaving the small garden looking bare and uninteresting.

Everyone went their separate ways when they reached the village. Henrietta pulled Lily into Honeydukes, and then Zonko's, where Lily had to admit she had a good time. The shop was bright and cheerful in contrast to the grey outside, but when it reached 4 o' clock and Peter came in to tell them they were meeting for butterbeer, Lily was glad.

The Three Broomsticks was packed. Lily and Henrietta, along with Marlene who they'd pulled away from the bookshop where she had been flirting with the young wizard behind the counter, weaved through the elderly men drinking at the bar, and the barmaids scuttling around with trays of drinks to join the group of students at the large table. James was sitting on the end of the bench and he moved over so the girls could sit. Lily found herself wedged tightly between him and Henrietta, and also that she didn't mind too much at all.

They didn't stay as long this time as it was getting darker earlier every night. They made their way back out into the grey afternoon at a quarter to five, and the students didn't need to be told to hurry up on the walk home. Everyone was eager to get back to the cosy common room.

When they got back to the castle everyone traipsed into the big entranceway and parted ways, and Lily took this opportunity to go up to her dorm, grab a book she had borrowed off Professor Harrison on advanced charm-work, and start the walk along the empty, stone corridors to her office. On reaching it, she found that Harrison wasn't there, so she placed the book on the floor next to the door and turned back the way she had come. A noise in one of the rooms to her left drew her attention, and she turned down the narrow side-corridor and followed the sound.

She reached a door and put her hand out to turn the handle, but a voice from the other side of the door made her pause.

"But if we make it all over, the blood loss will be greater, meaning incapacitation for longer."

Snape's voice.

Lily stayed very still, and listened.

"We need a counter curse, obviously," he continued, and then another voice interrupted.

"But what if they know the counter-curse?"

"Well they won't, will they, because we won't tell a soul. It'll be our secret."

Lily's hand brushed the doorknob, unsure whether to grasp it and enter or turn tail and flee. She didn't have to decide, as it turns out, for as soon as she touched the handle, an alarm went off. A screeching noise sounded from within the room, and immediately a spell sent the door hurtling open. Snape stood on the other side, wand drawn, and Lily's heart plummeted with fear at the look on his face.

"You," Snape spat, his face bitter and twisted at the sight of her. Lily was frozen to the spot. "What do you want? Spying on us, were you? Going to run to Dumbledore and tell tales on us?" Snape's companions had all drawn their wands by this stage, and were flanking him on either side, starting Lily down. Suddenly Lily had the sickening image of Snape and his friends standing, wands drawn, behind another wizard, one who went by a different name.

Snape was still waiting for her to speak.

"Severus, I-"

"What do you want!" Snape cried, cutting her off, and his voice broke over the last word. Lily's face crumpled and she made to step forward, to tell him to stop all this, leave these horrid people behind, and to be her friend again. But Severus tightened his hold on his wand, and bit out, "No. No, Lily, just go. Please, just go."

Lily didn't move, and one of the boys behind Severus muttered, "Come on, Snape, get rid of your girlfriend."

"She. Is. Not. My girlfriend," Snape grated out through clenched teeth, and Lily opened her mouth to speak again. Snape bet her to it.

"Just get out, you filthy mud-blood."

Whatever words Lily had been planning to say died on her tongue. She stood for a second, just looking at Severus and his gang, the gang that had taken her friend and changed him into someone she didn't recognize, didn't like. Then she turned, and she ran. She heard the door slam shut as she fled down the hall and tears streamed down her face, blinding her. She just knew she had to get as far away from that classroom as possible.

She ran from the hallway and out into the main corridor, and then she felt her shoulder connect with another person. She tried to step away, but then arms were around her and a voice was saying, "Hey, woah there Tiger-Lily, where are you off to in such a hurry?"

James.

Lily stopped struggling and melted into his arms, burying her head in his neck and sobbing. James, who had definitely not expected to run into a soggy bundle of head-girl on his way to Dumbledore's office, coped remarkably well with the situation. He held Lily tight, stroking her head and shushing her, telling her it was okay, and waited for her to stop crying.

Eventually, Lily did. And when she did, she immediately felt stupid.

"I'm sorry, I'll go, it's not-" But James was having none of it.

"No, absolutely not, you don't get to make my shirt all wet and then not tell me why. What's happened?"

Lily took a deep shuddery breath and said, "Okay, but you're going to think it's stupid. And you're going to say 'I told you so'."

James just raised his eyebrows, and replied, "I have never said 'I told you so', in my life, and I would definitely never say it to you. Now tell me what's wrong."

"Can we walk?" Lily snuffled, and James nodded and rubbed her shoulder, and they started walking back in the direction of the common room.

"Severus-" and at the name James gave a snort, and Lily rounded on him. "I told you, I knew you'd do this!"

James shook his head and mimed zipping his lips, and Lily sighed but continued. "Severus and his friends were practicing a spell in an empty classroom. I came across them by accident, and I heard them talking about a spell. Severus was saying they needed to make the cuts all over, so the victim would lose more blood so they couldn't fight back. All I could think of was him fighting with You-Know-Who." James went slightly pale at this, but didn't interrupt again. "And when I touched the door handle, an alarm went off and Severus found me outside the door and accused me of spying, which I suppose I was, but I hadn't set out to do it. And then his whole gang had me at wandpoint, and I wanted more than anything for Severus to just walk away, to stop creating these terrible spells, but then he…"

"He what?"

"He… He called me a filthy mudblood. And then I ran."

James stopped, stock still in the middle of the hall, and his face contorted from slight disgust to absolute rage.

"No."

"No? No what?" The look on his face made Lily uneasy, and she reached out a hand to take his arm. "James, no, it's not your problem, please don't-"

But James was pulling away and turning back the way they'd come. Lily's fear returned and she lunged at him, grabbing his arm, tears welling up again.

"James, please, don't. I don't need you to fight for me, I need you here. I need you here."

James stopped, and he seemed to deflate when he saw the tears making trails down Lily's cheeks again. "Lily, no, don't cry, please don't cry, it's okay, I'm not going." He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. "I won't go, please don't cry. I won't go looking for trouble."

Lily tried to stop the gasping sobs escaping, but now they had started it was no use. She let her hair be stroked by James' strong hands, and let her tears soak the shoulder of his t-shirt. He didn't say a word, just held her, and then, after a minute, said quietly, "But know that I would fight for you, any day."

* * *

After a solemn walk back to the common room, Lily went up to her dorm, took a long shower and lay down on her bed. She picked up a book off her bedside table and started to read, but she hadn't got more than a page ahead when there was a tap on the door and Henrietta let herself in. "Lily?"

Lily put down the book and sat up, pushing her still-wet hair out of her eyes. "Here," she replied, and Henrietta leaned on the door.

"James wanted me to ask you to come down, since he's not allowed up here. He's in the common room."

Lily frowned. "Did he say why?"

Henrietta shrugged. "Nothing bad I don't think, he didn't look worried or anything."

Lily, confused, picked up the towel off the ground and tried to get her hair looking at least a little dryer. Henrietta laughed. "Do you want me to do a drying charm?"

"Can you do those?"

"Sure, I do it for my sister all the time. Her hair's down to her waist," Henrietta replied, and pulled her wand out of her pocket. She performed the charm and Lily ran a hand through her hair, which to her surprise was now almost completely dry.

"There, told you," Henrietta said, tucking her wand back into her pocket. "Now come, don't keep the boy waiting."

Lily grabbed her wand off the bed and followed Henrietta out of the room and down the stairs. When they walked into the common room, Lily saw James leaning against a table on the far side of the room. Sirius and Remus were on the couch, Remus with his legs tucked up under him reading a book, and Sirius spread out, taking up as much space as possible, apparently just watching Remus read.

James pushed himself off the table and came over. "Hey," he began, and Lily smiled.

"Hey."

"Sorry to pull you out of whatever you were doing, but I think Harrison wants a quick word with us," James explained.

Lily must have looked worried, because he smiled again. "No, nothing bad! It's fine, it'll only take a minute."

"Oh. Okay," Lily nodded hesitantly. Why would Harrison want to see them now? Was this to do with Severus? What had James done? She followed him out of the common room and as soon as they were outside the portrait hole, James turned to her and grinned.

"Okay that was a lie, Harrison doesn't want to see us. She's probably cozied up in her study in pink bunny slippers in front of the fire right now, if I'm honest."

Lily shook her head confused. "Oh…kay? So where are we going."

"It's a surprise. Do you trust me?"

Lily nodded without hesitation. James reached out a hand and she took it, and he began to lead her along the hallway. Unsure of where they were going, Lily let James lead her along in the direction of… the astronomy tower?

"Why are we going to the astronomy tower? Are we even allowed up there at night?"

"Stop asking questions, you're ruining it."

Lily shut her mouth and didn't say any more. When James pushed open the door to the tower and let her inside, she gasped. The winding staircase was lit in a dim glow by dozens of tiny floating lanterns, hanging in thin air all the way up.

"What? How? Who made these?"

James looked pleased, and then shrugged. "Sirius helped, but all the ones he did lit themselves on fire after a few minutes so he just did the levitation charms."

Lily was still standing on the bottom stair, holding her hand out to bask in the glow of one of the lanterns. James gave her a slight push to get her moving again, and together they slowly climbed the stairs. When they reached the top and came out into the moonlight, Lily looked around. More lanterns were sitting along the top of the tower wall, and Lily laughed as one spontaneously burst into flames. "Sirius…" James muttered, and Lily just laughed harder.

"So why are we here?" Lily asked, and James looked awkwardly down at his feet and took a deep breath.

"'Cause I wanted to do this properly. You're the kind of girl who deserves this done properly. I'm sick of pointless flirting and dancing around each other, and if I've got the wrong end of the stick and you don't feel the way I think you feel, then…. Well, then I'm a little bit fucked."

Lily giggled, and looked up at James as he stepped closer.

"Basically what I'm trying to say is, Lily Evans, will you go out with me?"

There was a pause, and Lily took in the sight of James' face lit up by the moonlight, hair scruffy as always and glasses framing his hopeful eyes.

"Yeah, James, I will."

The grin that split James' face was better than all the lanterns and the moonlight in the world, and Lily felt a little like laughing, and a little like crying. She didn't suppose that was normal, but then today had been less than normal anyway.

James lifted a hand and stroked her hair back off her face, shaking his head. "I guess that makes me the luckiest guy at Hogwarts, then."

"Oh, I don't know, I heard Greggory Fish brewed a perfect vial of liquid luck in potions today. Slughorn was impressed enough to let him keep it."

James chuckled and replied, "Nope. I'm still luckier." Lowering his hand from her hair to her cheek, James continued, "Would you mind awfully if I kissed you now? I mean, I did try really hard with the lanterns…"

Lily burst out laughing and then nodded, still grinning. "I think it would probably be okay if you kissed me."

So James did.

It was careful and gentle and so unlike Lily had imagined James would be, and Lily wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him a little closer. James made a surprised sort of noise into the kiss, and then wrapped his arms around her too. It was only a couple of seconds before James pulled away and took a deep breath, and Lily smirked at him.

"You okay?"

"Splendid. Spiffing. Not freaking out, definitely not. Also, not concerned that three of the lantern are now on fire and there is an owl noise that I distinctly recall being Remus' signal for 'there are people coming you might want to leg it', coming from the corridor below. Otherwise, I'm brilliant." He grinned at her and Lily looked around, seeing that there were indeed now three flaming lanterns adorning the wall. She pulled her wand out of her pocket and muttered an extinguishing spell, and the lantern went out with a soft poof. James then banished the lantern. "Sorry to end the evening on a distinctly unromantic note, but would you mind doing the rest as well?"

Lily willingly extinguished all the lanterns and James banished them all with a flick of his wand. Then he pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket.

"What's that?" Lily asked, and James hesitated.

"You have to promise not to freak out, or tell anyone. It's really rather cool."

Lily looked over his shoulder with interest as he tapped his wand to the parchment and said, "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." Lines appeared on the page, displaying the title, 'The Marauder's Map.' Above it was written, 'Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.'

Lily made a sound of understanding and James looked at her.

She elaborated. "I've heard Sirius refer to you as Prongs before. Why is that?" James only grinned and opened the map. It displayed, from what Lily could tell, the whole castle. Corridors and hallways and the common room, and even some rooms Lily had no idea even existed.

A pair of footprints with a small floating tag labelled 'Remus Lupin' was pacing back and forwards along a corridor, and Lily could also see two more sets of feet, labelled 'James Potter' and 'Lily Evans' just above him.

"It's us!" She pointed, and James smiled.

"Sure is. Everyone's on here."

"How did you get this? Is it even legal?"

"We made it. And no, not strictly speaking." He winked and Lily stared at him open mouthed.

"You made this?"

"We all did. Even Peter helped."

Lily was suitably impressed. She was about to open her mouth and ask more questions when James pointed to another set of prints, labelled 'Roberta Harrison'.

"Her first name is Roberta?" Lily sniggered.

"Believe me, there are worse names in this castle," James replied with a smirk, and then he reached for Lily's hand. "Come on. If Remus is signaling it means someone's spotted the lights. And my bets are on Harrison."

Lily let James lead her towards the staircase and they slipped quietly down it. Reaching the bottom, James put his ear to the door and listened carefully, glancing at the map. It showed Remus standing a few feet from them, and Harrison just rounding the corner.

James cupped his hands around his mouth and made a soft hooting noise, which Lily supposed was meant to sound like an owl. It didn't. There was an answering cough from the other side of the door, and then they heard Remus' voice.

"Professor Harrison, good evening."

"He's using his teacher voice," James whispered, and Lily bit the inside of her mouth to keep from laughing.

"Good evening, Mr Lupin. I don't suppose you've just come from the tower, have you?"

"Oh, why yes, I have. Is there something the matter?"

"Why, pray tell, were there so many lights scattered around the top of it?"

Remus paused for a second and James and Lily sent each other doubtful looks.

"I was practicing my illumination charms. The lights were lanterns. I know students aren't allowed up the top of the tower, it was wrong of me. I hope you don't see this as an abuse of my privileges as a prefect?"

Lily almost snorted with laughter, and James was biting his hand to stop from laughing. Remus was really playing the part.

Professor Harrison hmm-ed and then sighed. "Since you have never been in trouble before, I'll let it slide. You're sure you're not covering for Black? This sounds suspiciously like he was involved."

Lily could just picture the face Remus would be making right now, the picture of innocence. "No miss. I swear."

"Okay, Lupin, well back to your dorm with you. It's late. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Professor," Remus replied, and they watched on the map as both sets of feet travelled in separate directions away from the door.

James carefully opened it and let Lily through. They half ran back along the chilly stone hallway to the common room, holding onto each other's arms and trying to stop laughing. Remus must have got there just before them, for when they fell through the portrait hole, giggling and red, Remus was perched on the arm of the sofa next to Sirius.

He raised his eyebrows and he looked decidedly pleased with himself. "You're welcome," was his only comment. Sirius was grinning, and he said, "It's okay, we kind of owed Lily one anyway."

James looked slightly confused and turned to Lily, but she ignored it and sat down on the sofa. The fire was still blazing in the grate and there was no-one else in the common room but them. James sat down beside her and tentatively threaded his fingers through hers in the space between them. Lily smiled.

A door opened behind them and they all turned to see Peter. "What are you all doing down here? Did I miss something?"

There was a pause, and then all four of them collapsed laughing. "I always miss something!" Peter whined from the doorway, and then came into the room and sat down with his back against the couch.

"It's okay, Pete, we'll fill you in. Here, can you close the map for me?"

Peter perked up a bit and tapped his wand to the parchment James held out. "Mischief managed," he said, and the lines on the map faded and then disappeared completely. Peter took it and folded it up, tucking it into his pocket.

"Tell me what happened," Peter tried again, and James looked at Lily.

"So we're up the Astronomy Tower, and the lanterns are on fire…" James began, and Peter leaned his head back against the cushions to listen. Remus had a hand in Sirius' hair, aimlessly petting as though Sirius were a dog, and as Lily looked around, she wasn't quite sure she could have gone on without this. _Life, _she decided, _likes to fix it so that when you don't have something, you are never quite sure what you're missing, so you don't miss it much at all. When you do have it, though, it's as though life is reminding you that you're lucky to have it, and you shouldn't throw it away. By showing you what you've been missing, it makes you feel as though anything up until this point is a waste of time. And I know that can't be true, _she thought, _but right now, I'd believe anything. Right now, I'm too happy to care._


End file.
